Deep Blue Secret Read online

  For being one of the most gorgeous guys in school, he sure seemed insecure, but it was sort of endearing.

  “Oh…actually…” My eyebrows wrinkled, apologetic. “I already told my mom I would help her paint our living room on Saturday.”

  He looked away, blue eyes full of disappointment. “Oh. That’s okay.”

  Poor guy, I didn’t want him to think I made up some excuse not to go. I really did have plans. Each week my mom had just one or two nights off from the hospital where she worked. That was really our only time to see each other, so we started girls’ night. It had become our weekly tradition. We’d usually do stuff like get take-out and watch chick flicks, but this time my overly-energetic mother talked me into another do-it-yourself project. At least this time it wouldn’t require tearing down walls.

  I wasn’t that excited about painting in the first place, and with Nick looking way cuter than I realized before, I was really starting to regret our plans. But instead of becoming bitter at my mother’s ambition, I quickly thought of a solution that would work for everyone.

  The smile returned to my face. “Well, school’s closed Friday for Veteran’s Day. I don’t have plans if you want to do something then.”

  “Sure!” His face brightened with a smile full of perfect white teeth. “My uncle works at Disneyland and he could get us in, but that’s kind of an all-day thing, so I don’t know if you would be interested.”

  I didn’t have to think about it. “Totally,” I said, touching his arm. “That sounds like fun.”

  I loved Disneyland. Growing up in the area, I used to go all the time, but I hadn’t been in a while. That would be something to look forward to.

  “Okay,” he said, relieved. “I’ll come pick you up Friday morning. Would nine work?”

  I nodded. “Nine sounds good.”

  There was an awkward pause in our conversation. It looked like Nick wanted to say something but couldn’t push out the words. I looked off to a corner of the ceiling, giving him a chance to regroup. He laughed nervously and scratched his head but still came up with nothing. I had to put him out of his misery.

  I turned back with a smile. “Well…I probably should get to class. I’ll see you Friday?”

  He wore an unsure, semi-goofy expression while I sauntered away, glancing back with a flirty wave goodbye. It couldn’t hurt to be a little flirty, right? Nick seemed completely harmless compared to Justin Crane. Although Heather once said I flirted all the time, even when I didn’t mean to, so I should probably remember to tone it down.

  Thanks to Nick Christensen I was suddenly in an extra great mood. As I skipped cheerfully down the path outside I noticed my friend, Ariana, from the other side of the quad. Her parents were originally from the Dominican Republic, but they moved here from New York a few years ago.

  Ariana jumped up and down with a huge smile when she saw me. I loved her enthusiasm. She was one of the most energetic girls at our school. Next thing I knew she was bounding across the grass in my direction.

  “Sadie!” she called happily.

  She jumped up next to me. “Hey chica, I love your hair today.” She pulled a handful of wavy blonde strands in the air and let them fall playfully through her fingers back to my shoulder.

  “Thanks,” I said. “That’s a cute shirt.”

  She looked down at herself as if trying to remember what she was wearing and giggled. “Oh yeah…Thanks, it’s new. So I brought you that CD I was telling you about.”

  Ariana was always putting together CD's with new music for me to try; mostly salsa type music I would have a hard time finding on my own. Despite how well I was doing in Spanish class, I couldn't understand most of the words in the songs, but the beats were infectious. Sometimes it was hard to stop my hips from waving side to side.

  She rummaged through her backpack and handed me a plastic case.

  I slid it on top of the chemistry book cradled in my arm. “Cool. I’m excited to listen to it when I get home.”

  “Make sure you listen to track two,” she said with animation. “That’s so totally my favorite this week.”

  I looked at Ariana with her bubbly happiness and suddenly found myself staring at her golden eyes, a stark contrast to her milk chocolate skin and curly black hair. It was kind of a breath of fresh air in the sea of blonds parading the school.

  My thought was interrupted by a small jolt. Someone bumped into me from behind. I glanced up, distracted.

  A boy in dark clothes muttered a quick sorry under his breath and continued walking, turning his face only partially towards me. I could’ve sworn a glint of light caught his eye causing a stream of little green sparkles.

  A slight tingling sensation shivered up my arm and I looked down at it instinctively. There was a silvery film with iridescent swirls shimmering just below my elbow. I tried to touch it, but it disappeared. I wasn’t sure if I imagined it. Maybe the sunlight was playing tricks on my eyes.

  My thoughts flew back to the intriguing boy that bumped my arm but I couldn't see him anymore. He seemed oddly familiar. Like something was pulling me after him, drawing me towards him.

  “Who was that?” I wondered aloud.

  Ariana shrugged. “I have no idea.”

  Suddenly I wanted to chase after the mystery person.

  “Hey, I have to get going,” I said, moving away in a daze.

  If Ariana replied, I didn't notice. I was too busy searching through the crowd of students for the face—the one with the sparkling, familiar eyes. I didn't know what the rest of him looked like. He shuffled by so fast. I didn't have a chance to register anything else.

  I rushed through the school grounds, propelled by curiosity, intense desire growing inside me. Students eyed me as they caught me staring. My gaze darted back and forth from face to face, examining them as I shot by. But none of them were right. The mysterious green eyes were nowhere to be seen.

  The warning bell rang, interrupting my quest. At least I was able to gather my senses enough to direct myself to class. Chemistry was my hardest subject and I couldn’t help but groan a little when I opened the classroom door.

  I peered at the equation on the board. It was like trying to figure out a foreign language. Although I had Spanish after lunch and it was one of my easiest classes, so the analogy didn’t fit. Instead I just pictured a tiny bomb going off in my head, frying a bunch of brain cells. I didn’t know how I managed to keep a decent grade. Mr. Wallace must have awarded a lot of participation points for doing the labs.

  The desktop was cold on my elbows fueling my anxiety. What was that all about? I thought; puzzled by my sudden lapse of insanity that sent me racing through the school grounds. I was seriously starting to wonder what was wrong with me.

  But the mystery of the face still clouded my thoughts. It couldn't just be a face. There had to be an actual person attached to that face, to those familiar, green eyes.

  He was here at my school. Why hadn't I noticed him before? Was he a new student? If he was, then why would he look so familiar to me?

  Maybe he used to live here, then moved away for a while…and now he moved back again. Or he used to go to a school nearby, like Corona Del Mar or Estancia, and we'd met before through friends at a party or something and now he went to our school because he happened to move recently.

  Ugh! That's completely absurd, I thought, scolding myself. How could I come up with something so ridiculous?

  Mr. Wallace finished his lecture and sent us to the back tables to work on the lab. My partner, Ryan, did most of the work while I nodded and smiled, pretending to understand what he was doing.

  Even though I was baffled by the mystery guy at break, I felt surprisingly at ease, giddy even. It was like I had a riddle I desperately wanted to solve and couldn't figure out for the life of me, but I wasn't frustrated—I was enjoying it.

  In between classes I searched for the face through the hallways and outside. On my way to lunch I did the same. It was a fun game, but I wasn't winning.


  I sat with Heather at our usual outdoor table to eat. Nicole, Lindsey, and a few other girls usually sat with us too.

  Heather grabbed my arm as soon as I sat next to her. “I heard that someone has a date this weekend…”

  Oh right. She was talking about Nick. I almost forgot. “How is it possible that you already know that?” I said impressed.

  “Oh please,” she said. “You do remember who you’re talking to, right?”

  Next thing I knew Heather was making an announcement to everyone at our table of the news. An entire table full of girls squealed and clapped in unison, causing curious glances from around the lunch area.

  After everyone took turns expressing their jealousy and wishing me luck on my date, Heather retold the story of her first kiss on the It’s a Small World ride at Disneyland when she was a freshman. She and Lindsey both agreed that this would be a good opportunity for me to finally do the same, especially with Nick Christensen.

  Kissing did sound like a lot of fun. Heather had done a lot of kissing since that boat ride and she never ceased to tell me about it. But I didn’t want to just do it for the fun of it. I wanted it to mean something.

  I mulled over the idea. Maybe I was building it up to be something bigger than it needed to be. What if, once I finally tried it, it would be a huge disappointment because I made too big a deal out of it? Should I just kiss Nick Christensen on Friday and get the whole thing over with? It might be fun.

  But it didn’t seem like a decision I could make in one lunch period. I had to at least see if I liked the guy, right? It could wait until Friday.

  I left our table to make my usual social rounds, hopping from one group of friends to the next to hang out and chat for a few minutes. I was like my mom in that way. She was friendly and talkative with everyone she met.

  At least I was like that most of the time, especially at school, but lately it felt like I was living a double life. I didn't always enjoy socializing like I used to. There were times I could be in a crowd full of friends and feel utterly alone.

  When I had the random episodes of depression triggered by music or emotions, it was even worse. Then I was definitely not in the mood to socialize. But there was no problem today. I was my happy, carefree self, enjoying the laughter and company of friends.

  I was still in high spirits when the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. The mystery face didn't make an appearance, but I did get my hopes up a few times. I'd see a nice head of hair or a set of broad shoulders and go to investigate, but they were never attached to the sparkly-eyed boy that was the object of my pursuit.

  I walked to Spanish half expecting to see his green eyes pop out from behind one of the large trees that dotted the school grounds. But they didn't. Where did he go? Was the whole thing made up in my head, the product of an overactive imagination?

  I didn't believe that. He was definitely real.

  Spanish class breezed by. Señora Morales broke us into groups to create skits using a list of vocabulary words. Our abilities were limited and the whole thing turned out sort of silly, but we had the entire class in tears of laughter by the end.

  I had such a good time I almost forgot about the game with my mystery boy—almost. But as soon as I was outside I found myself jumping right back into my search to find him.

  All the way to photography class I pictured the mystery face poking out from behind the trees and winking at me with his glowing eyes, taunting me to chase him. But I finally gave up, at least for today. I settled in at my desk with one last hopeful thought. If I went to the same place at the same time tomorrow, our paths could possibly cross again.

  Then I pushed the dreamy green eyes to the back of my mind.

  3. EMOTIONS

  A haze circled around me, like I was watching myself from a distance, lost in my dreams. I was just a child again, giggling and playing in the front yard under the afternoon sun. I rode a purple bike with shiny tassels on the handlebars. I remembered the bike. It was a present from my mom for my seventh birthday.

  Mom’s searching voice echoed from around the corner like a song. “Sadie-bear…time for dinner.”

  I pranced to the front of the house, weightless, as if floating on clouds. Everything was so simple, so happy.

  I called out to her, pretending to pout. “Just a few more tries? Please, Mom?”

  She nodded and waved, her words muffled. “Okay. Just a few more minutes.” Then she drifted back to the house like an angel.

  Mom’s flowers swayed in the sunlight as I launched my bike down the sidewalk. The coastal breeze pushed me gently from behind. For a moment I felt invincible. The spokes on the wheels whooshed forward in triumph, ready to explore the world around me.

  Then everything went dark. A clap of thunder roared through the air and I let out a childlike scream. My little body shuttered from the unexpected sound. My eyes jolted towards the sky, finding a swarm of black clouds gathering in swirls over my head, threatening to pour down on me.

  A strange sense of fear moved through my limbs and the bike wobbled back and forth between my knees. The handlebars veered erratically from side to side until I landed with a gasp in a patch of pointy branches and leaves.

  I lay there limp, sniffling as tears welled up in my eyes until a hand reached down in front of my gaze. I raised my head. The figure of a boy stood over me, face unclear, his identity blurred.

  Still, I felt I knew him somehow. My heart knew him.

  All of his details were smudged except the eyes; distinct clear eyes that sparkled like green diamonds. I knew these eyes. They were meant for me.

  The gray sky melted away, leaving a halo of white all around us.

  Calm wrapped around me like a blanket when I heard his steady voice. “Let me help you.”

  He knelt by my side and wiped a tear off my cheek. “Don’t cry. Everything will be all right.”

  I felt safe with the faceless boy, at ease. Timidly, I asked for his name.

  His strong voice fell quiet like a whisper in the wind. “My name is Rain.”

  “Rain?” I pouted. “But I don’t like the rain. It scares me.”

  His words danced around my head. “You don’t need to be scared. I’ll protect you.”

  I lifted my fingers to his blurry face. “Wait, I remember you now. Diamond-eyes. That’s your name, silly. You must’ve forgotten.”

  I patted his cheek with my tiny hand. “Silly, Diamond-eyes. How could you forget your own name?”

  The touch of his skin dissipated like puffs of air, his face beginning to fade.

  “Wait,” I called. “Don’t go.”

  I tried to reach for him, to hold on to something, but the glowing green eyes flickered and disappeared.

  ***

  Sound jerked my mind from blissful sleep. I rolled in the crinkled sheets with a groan and slapped my hand against the clock to free myself from the dreaded alarm.

  If only I could drift back to serenity in my mind and be with him a little longer. The same familiar boy I’d dreamt about since I was a little girl, whose face I could never quite remember when I woke up. His eyes were the only clear image that remained, two brilliant gemstones that glowed just for me.

  It had been a while since I’d dreamt of the green-eyed boy, and as I lay in bed gathering my energy, I couldn’t help but think of the guy I’d spent all day yesterday searching for at school. Something about the two seemed similar, connected. Could there be a chance they were the same person? Was he even real? And why was his image stored away in my subconscious?

  I always felt strangely sad the mornings I woke from these dreams. It was almost like I missed him, even though I had no clue who he was.

  But the sadness didn't last long; a sleepy smile took its place. I would miss the green-eyed boy and the warmth of my bed, but I had a life full of warmth. I looked forward to another day of high school. Now I just needed my body to agree with me.

  I slid from the fluffy sanctuary and pulled a robe over my pink
tank-top, stumbling blurry-eyed down the hall. As I reached the bathroom door my mom burst from her room, full of energy—as usual. She was already dressed in casual capris and a bright fuchsia shirt, her dark blonde hair styled in a messy up-do.

  She grabbed my face planting an exaggerated kiss on my cheek. “Morning, Sadie-bear.”

  I stared with half-opened eyes. “Mom,” I complained. “It’s too early to be so…perky.”

  “Suit yourself,” she said, her cheer unaffected as she skipped away to the other side of the house.

  Seriously, I didn’t know where that woman found her energy. Usually I was sound asleep by the time she got home from her shift at the hospital, yet she always managed to wake up before me.

  The hot water rained down my head in the shower, my favorite radio station serenading me in the background. A new song I liked played through the air and I felt instantly happier and more awake, ready to coast through another sunshiny day.

  After the shower I went straight to the compact stereo on my night stand. I wanted to finish listening to the song that was playing in the bathroom. The silvery-white CD player was a gift from my mom for my seventeenth birthday. I probably used it more than anything else in the house.

  I sang along to the music as I made my bed, prancing around the room and swinging pillows up to the headboard from off the floor. I wasn't over-exuberant about it like girls you would see in movies, jumping around like a rock star, using a brush as a mock microphone, but I did like to sing.

  After throwing on some jeans and a lavender blouse, I grabbed a few fun bracelets and slid them over my wrist. I rarely left the house without wearing some kind of bracelet or wrist band, at the very least a watch. It was more for functional purposes than to make a fashion statement.

  It was just easier to cover up the black birthmark inside my left wrist than to have people doing a double take when they caught a glance of it. Someone even mistook it for a bug once and tried to flick it off my arm.